1 Posted: Saturday, December 31, 2016 6:15 PM

Having just returned from my road trip in Victoria I thought I would share the below with you all. I can't and won't take the credit for it as I simply found it somewhere on the Internet a very long time ago and had saved it to the hard drive for future use. Well here goes and many thanks to whoever the writer was because I found it so true during my trip. A must read which will make you chuckle…….

“Ordered a glass of Beer in Victoria!

My order seemed pretty clear when I asked the waiter in the St Kilda cafe for a glass of beer.

”Pint or schooner?“ he asked.

His Euro accent indicated this could get complicated. My first thought was to tell him that neither of the glass sizes he offered me is traditionally used in Victoria. Schooners? I've heard of them. They are used in NSW, the next glass size up from the middy.

And pints? I am aware pints have become popular in Australian bars in recent years, but I associate them with British pubs serving Guinness and English real ale, not ice cold Aussie beer.

I hesitated when answering the waiter, so he helped me.

”Large or small?“' he asked.

I explained that he had offered me a choice between a large beer and a very large beer. He had not offered me a ”small“ beer. Realising my hope of getting a glass was zero, I asked for a pot. Now it was his turn to look confused.

”A pot of what?“

I told him a pot was 285ml or 10 fluid oz. It is the next size up from a glass.

”Of course, if you go to NSW, it's called a middy, whereas if you're in Adelaide, it's a schooner. Up in Queensland, a pot is the same as in Victoria, except in those parts where it is called a middy or just a 10. Queensland's a pretty big place. Mind you, over in the West, a pot is a pint.“

”But isn't a pint an imperial measurement?“ he asked. ”How can that vary?“

”Good question,“ I replied. ”In South Australia, a pint of beer is just 15 fluid oz or 425ml. Of course, you can specify that you want an imperial pint.“

The waiter looked even more confused and went to ask if the bar served pots.

Australian beer sizes have been upsized. This might be in response to consumer demand, but it is safe to conclude the bars and pubs have encouraged it. A drinker might only have one beer, so the bar ensures it's a big one, plus larger glasses mean fewer visits to the bar, saving on glass washing and labour costs.

However, the larger sizes have not caught on in far north Queensland. Evidently, humidity makes beer go flat more quickly so the less time the beer is exposed to the atmosphere, the better. Of course, large areas of northern Australia have overcome the glass size problem entirely. Beer is ordered by can colour.

Smaller glass sizes have largely disappeared. Try walking into a bar and asking for a pony. In Victoria, along with NSW, South Australia and Western Australia, this is, or was, a 5oz or 140ml glass. Today's beer drinkers might wonder why anyone would bother with such a small glass, but I recall seeing people drinking ponies in country pubs last century.

The typical scene involved two or three older blokes at the bar. In front of each of them sat a full pony on the towelling strip. The men would look at the pony from time to time, but not touch it until one made a move. Then, in unison, they would toss the whole pony down their throats and gently place the glass back on the bar, ready for a refill.

That would sit for 10 or 15 minutes, at which point the ritual would be repeated. Whole afternoons disappeared like that. Meanwhile, out in the ladies lounge, the wives of the men would sip their ponies of shandy, presumably because they were considered more genteel than a larger glass.

If you want a smaller pony in Perth, the solution is obvious: ask for a Shetland. Some beer sizes are unique to a state. Only South Australia has a butcher, although it is fast disappearing, along with other 200ml glasses, called a seven in NSW and Queensland, and simply a glass in Western Australia and Victoria. For some reason, this sized glass has never been popular in Tasmania.

There are various explanations about the origin of the butcher, most having links to Adelaide abattoir workers.

Back in the cafe in St Kilda, the waiter returned to say they did not serve pots. I switched my order to a glass of house red…………..”

2 Posted: Saturday, December 31, 2016 6:55 PM

Lol, poor waiter must have thought he found a nut job…….. I just order a pint, whatever comes is up to them…….

3 Posted: Sunday, January 01, 2017 3:22 PM

Walked into a pub in SA (Morgan) about a year ago and ordered a pot of Carlton Draught (The choice was that or West End).
The bloke behind the bar held up what I call a pot, a 10 oz glass and said “you mean one of these?”
Must have figured out I was Victorian because of my beer choice.
Carlton Draught not my favorite beer. West end , undrinkable IMO.

4 Posted: Sunday, January 01, 2017 11:07 PM

Gag Halfrunt:

Walked into a pub in SA (Morgan) about a year ago and ordered a pot of Carlton Draught (The choice was that or West End).
The bloke behind the bar held up what I call a pot, a 10 oz glass and said “you mean one of these?”
Must have figured out I was Victorian because of my beer choice.
Carlton Draught not my favorite beer. West end , undrinkable IMO.


You poor thing, Carlton or West End! Well I would of gone for Carlton personally. I know of one person who actually likes West End and I will do my best to convert him to Home Brew.

5 Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2017 4:58 PM

Gag Halfrunt:

. West end , undrinkable IMO.


I last tasted west end back in about 1990, it was undrinkable then. And my experience with beer was pretty much limited to Tooheys New and VB back then. I would have thought it may have got better by now. Was told it was made of Todd river water. It was utterly horrible.

6 Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2017 5:03 PM

As I have posted before, I have had the honour of being able to contribute to the beer glass industry in Australia, I am responsible for coming up with the name for the ‘Headmaster’ glass back in approx 1996 for ACI Crown Glass.

7 Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2017 8:18 PM

headmaster:

As I have posted before, I have had the honour of being able to contribute to the beer glass industry in Australia, I am responsible for coming up with the name for the ‘Headmaster’ glass back in approx 1996 for ACI Crown Glass.


Good on ya Headmaster. A mighty fine glass name it is.

8 Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2017 8:25 PM

headmaster:

As I have posted before, I have had the honour of being able to contribute to the beer glass industry in Australia, I am responsible for coming up with the name for the ‘Headmaster’ glass back in approx 1996 for ACI Crown Glass.

i do my best to keep them in business as well …borrowed or broken a few of them over the years

9 Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2017 8:42 PM

It is 1987 and I am in Bunbury Western Australia. Been there a week staying at the Rose Hotel while we found something to rent. I had been drinking Emu Bitter in the room the first week and ordering room service while I waited for the Missus to arrive from Tassie.

On the first night we went to the restaurant for dinner. I ordered a Scotch and Coke and a 10 ounce beer. The waiter repeated my request “A Scotch and Coke and a Midi Beer” to which, I remember this as plain as day “I don't care what type of beer it is mate as long as its 10 ounces.”

100% true, at this time we were still drinking from Barrels in Tasmania.

Cheers & Beers
Scottie
Valley Brew

10 Posted: Thursday, January 19, 2017 3:05 PM

First time I ever went to Victoria we had five or six blokes crammed into a HK Kingswood.

We started from Wollongong and were actually heading to Adelaide but we only had a vague idea about how to get there. So anyway we set off down the Hume Highway expecting to see a big right turn signposted “Adelaide” somewhere along the way.

After crossing the Murray and pressing on to Wangaratta there was still no sign of an obvious route to Adelaide. Finally arriving at Euroa we decided to stop for a beer (and maybe some directions).

At the time it had become fashionable among uni students in Wollongong to drink pints, preferably from those pommy Ravenswood glasses with the square patterning and a handle.

So into the pub at Euroa we went and ordered pints at the bar. The barman kind of sneered at us and pulled a bucket from under the bar. “Will this do ya?” Smartarse.

Epilogue:
We eventually made it to Adelaide via some very obscure Victorian towns like Donald and Dimboola. We maintained it was a short cut.

11 Posted: Thursday, January 19, 2017 6:15 PM

The thread appears to have evolved into a bit of story telling. Well here's my only one relating to Victoria…

As a lad I had a good friend I grew up with that in my late teens, moved from Adelaide where we grew up to Portland, Victoria due to a lucrative work opportunity for the father of the family. Me & the rest of our crew did our best to keep in touch with “Swinny” after the move.

As friends of his, we got invited to come over for his older brothers' 21st (Adin). From memory it was all a bit late & unorganised from our end about how we would travel over. As it turned out 8-10 of us traveled there over a couple of days at all hours in different cars to be there for the 21st celebrations.

I was with 2 mates that decided at 8.00pm the night before that we would go. After some faffing around getting the basics, I drove us over & both my mates fell asleep & got some kip on the way over. We arrived at approx. 3.00am & as the only mate that had been there before couldn't quite remember the exact location of the family household, we drove around a bit & was tailed & asked to pull over for ID, license checks, potential car defects inspection etc. by the local copper, & eventually crashed for a couple of hours in a local supermarket carpark.

On awakening the mate that had been there once before guided us to the household & we eventually showered up around Adin's place, then offered our services to help get the old shearing shed on a large property location cleaned up & ready for the 21st that evening. So worked our butts off cleaning, lugging kegs & heavy fittings around, & making the place look spruce & party ready.

Once everything was ready, the family rewarded us with having first dibs on the kegs. It was a warm day so we didn't knock back the invitation.

Among the kegs on offer were some “rocket fuel” mixtures that were quite tasty & also very potent. I showed some interest in these.

Eventually people started showing up & the party got into full swing. By about 10.00pm that evening my stamina tank had run out. I had been up since 6.00am the previous morning, worked 10hrs that day, then drove us over to Victoria & had barely 2 hours sleep in the middle. Add to that little to eat & a gut full of rocket fuel etc. I'm not surprised the body was asking for some shutdown time. So when a family member said they were going back to the house for some cakes & food etc. I asked if I could hitch a ride & crash. Done.

What I awoke to the next morning I will never forget as long as I live. ALL of the friends that went over that weekend had eventually found their way back to the family home & spent some time asleep there before I woke in the morning. Almost all of them had been beaten in some way. Some very badly. After the shock of seeing them, I found out roughly what had happened after I left the party. One of my friends had strayed onto an adjoining property & rightly or wrongly become involved in an altercation with the owner to the point he injured that person (yes my friend was in the wrong).

Word spreads quickly in a small town. For the mere fact that friend was part of a group that had come over from our state, the locals present at the 21st party (off duty police included) set upon those of us that were currently at the party & unaware of what had transpired at the adjoining property. Despite the best efforts of the family to hold off the local mob, my remaining friends were shall we say “dealt with”, with some having to hide under cars to minimize the beating. What the mob didn't deal out, the local coppers did with phone books etc. once they were remanded back in the cells.

I had lucked out due to fatigue & wasn't present when the mob set upon my friends.

The same two guys I went over with, I drove home that next day. One in particular who always had a cockiness & arrogance (to some degree) about him admitted he was scared for his life in the cells where he was repeatedly beaten despite requests to see the Justice of the Peace. For one of very few negligible situations in HIS life, he had done nothing wrong & was punished anyway. I had never seen that side of him before that day. He is no longer with us, & may he R.I.P.

There were court appearances that followed. My friend that had created the ruckus was lucky to be fined & receive a suspended sentence. A number of other friends that were not involved in that incident & merely defended themselves against a swarming mob & the local biased police also received varying degrees of similar suspended sentences & heavy fines.

I'm 46 years old now, & I've never been back to the state of Victoria since. I've not spoken of this for a very long time, nor do I know what possessed me to speak of this. Maybe indirectly it's some kind of therapy.

I hope you'll excuse my lack of love for the place.

I completely understand if Coopers remove this post.

Lusty.

12 Posted: Thursday, January 19, 2017 7:01 PM

Lusty - I really enjoyed reading your account of attending a 21st birthday in Victoria even if it was somewhat a heart moving experience for me. You've got a real way with words mate and I reckon you should be a journo or writing short stories for a living.

I won't go into Victoria because of the speeding fines even if you do 1klm over the limit. I wonder how much tourism they lose because of this. In QLD we get 10% tolerance, at least up here where I live.

Someone once asked me, “what is the Victorian Police Motto”. My reply was, “I dunno”. He replied by saying, “ If you can't dazzle them with brilliance then riddle them with bullets”.

13 Posted: Thursday, January 19, 2017 8:49 PM

Great Story Lusty, thanks for sharing it with us.

Our trip wasn't anywhere near as eventful. We got back to Adelaide without a speeding ticket which surprised me to be honest! Spent a shed load of Money on fuel and a split fuel tank which I've just got fixed so probably a good job I didn't get any fines as I don't have any money left!

Marty

Last edited by Fancy a Cheeky Pint? (Thursday, January 19, 2017 8:49 PM)